To you,

Here we are, two strangers connected synchronistically through something we both have in common. Heartache. Feeling disappointed in love. Exhausted from the suffering. Where does one begin when the pain seems like it has permeated every single cell of your body? How does one even begin to have hope that this ‘happened for a reason’ when you can’t even see a reason to exist right now?

It hurts that bad.

I know, I feel your pain. That pain used to overwhelm me too. It followed me around like a ghost that I couldn’t shake off, even in my sleep where it haunted me in nightmares. I used to hate that pain. I used to cry at the injustice of it all. I used to ask God, Universe, whoever was up there – Why is this happening to me? I’m a good person! Why me? I questioned karma, I questioned humanity, I questioned if I would ever feel happy again.

I’m here to tell you a secret. The pain doesn’t go away.

Instead, it transforms. It alchemizes into something beautiful. It becomes a part of your depth, your compassion, your ability to see another woman who is also suffering from heartbreak and in one look, you make her feel a little less alone, because you too, have been there. That shared humanity, that empathy that we’re all perfectly imperfect humans finding our way back home, that connection – that is love.

I’m not here to give you advice, instead, I’m here to give you permission – to mourn, to grieve, to feel all the feels, and that you don’t have to adhere to a timeline to ‘get over it.’ I’m here to remind you, to give yourself permission with gentle kindness, to nurture your tender heart. I’m here to remind you that this very process, of falling, of getting back up, is your power.

Strength is the practice of softening even when it hurts, even when it’s uncomfortable and you wish so badly to just distract, suppress or avoid it. Strength is to let the feelings expand your emotional range, your humanness.. to unravel in order to rebuild. You are in the natural cycle of life, and the ending of a cycle marks the beginning of a new one.

You are not broken you are just bruised. You are not shattered you are shapeshifting. This shakeup is a pivot – necessary for you to change the direction of your life. Trust the unfolding. Surrender to it. Your resistance to reality is the difference between your suffering and your triumph. You are the author of your story – every choice you make are words on a page, writing your next chapter.

What story do you want to tell?

With love,

Amy

About Amy

Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. She is also the Editor-in-Chief of JustMyType.ca - an online magazine that focuses on the psychology behind love, lust and desire. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline and The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Spring 2020.

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