Book Recommendations for the Broken Hearted
How do you heal a broken heart?
How do you move on from a painful breakup?
What do you do to get over my ex?
If you’ve been Googling questions like these lately, you’re not alone. Heartbreak is really hard to navigate, there are times that the pain is unbearable and it’s natural to look for quick fixes when you’re hurting and trying to make sense of everything.
I get it. I’ve been there.
And frankly, there’s no quick fix, and healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. But one gentle place to start is by giving your mind something steady to anchor onto – like reading.
As someone who has spent years helping people interrupt old patterns, rebuild their emotional foundation, and move through heartbreak at Renew Breakup Bootcamp, here are some of the books I personally recommend:
1. How to Fix a Broken Heart— Guy Winch, Ph.D.
I really like this book because it gives language to experiences most people don’t know how to articulate. Guy Winch breaks down the psychology of heartbreak in a way that makes you feel less “crazy” and more human.
If you’re in a stage where your thoughts are looping, or you can’t understand why everything feels so intense, this is a great place to start.
This is for you if: you need clarity, normalization, and a grounded explanation of what’s happening in your brain and body.
2. Break Up On Purpose — TheAngry Therapist (John Kim)
John Kim writes in a way that feels like someone sitting beside you, telling the truth without judgment. I appreciate how direct he is — it cuts through the noise, especially when you’re overwhelmed.
His prompts and reflections can help you reconnect with yourself when you feel like you lost parts of who you are in the relationship.
This is for you if: you want straight-talk guidance and simple prompts to help you feel more anchored.
3. Getting Past Your Breakup— Susan J. Elliott
This book is incredibly practical. I’ve recommended it many times to people who need structure and boundaries during a breakup. The no-contact framework, the exercises, and the step-by-step approach help create stability when emotions are erratic.
This is for you if: you’re tempted to reach out to your ex, in a push-pull cycle, or you need a clear plan to follow.
4. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken — Greg Behrendt& Amiira Ruotola
This one brings some levity into a very heavy emotional time. I like this book because it gives you perspective without minimizing your experience. Sometimes having a lighter voice in the background helps you pull back from idealizing the relationship or blaming yourself.
This is for you if: you want something easier to digest, and you need a reminder that you will eventually feel like yourself again.
5. Attached — Amir Levine &Rachel Heller
I often suggest this book because understanding attachment styles can completely shift how you interpret your breakup. Many people blame themselves without realizing their nervous system was responding to deeper patterns. This book helps you see the “why” behind your reactions, which can be incredibly freeing.
This is for you if: your breakup triggered anxiety, confusion, or old wounds — or you want to understand why the relationship felt so activating.
6. It’s Not You: Identifyingand Healing from Narcissistic People — Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D.
I really appreciate Dr. Ramani’s work because she explains narcissistic patterns without pathologizing you. This book helps you understand the dynamics that occur with emotionally unavailable or self-focused partners — and why these relationships can feel so destabilizing. Many people blame themselves after being with a narcissistic individual, and this book brings clarity, validation, and a grounded understanding of what actually happened.
This is for you if: you’re recovering from a toxic or confusing relationship and need insight into why the dynamic felt so draining or disorienting.
7. Breakup Bootcamp: The Scienceof Rewiring Your Heart — Amy Chan
This book is close to my heart because it captures the work we do at Renew — from emotional regulation tools to pattern recognition to rewriting the stories that keep you stuck. The tools and frameworks in here are the same ones that have helped thousands of people get over their heartbreak.
This is for you if: you want a blend of psychology, neuroscience, and practical tools to help you move through heartbreak with awareness and intention.
A gentle reminder as you heal
You don’t need to rush your process.
It is ok to not be ok.
You don’t need to “bounce back” before you’re ready.
Heartbreak brings old stories and patterns to the surface — and while it’s uncomfortable, it’s also an opportunity to understand yourself more deeply. If reading feels accessible, these books can offer perspective, grounding, and comfort during a time that often feels uncertain and tender.