A few weeks ago, a viral TikTok dating series by an influencer Danielle Walter who shared that she had fallen in love—and was talking about marriage—just three months into a relationship. The internet, predictably, had opinions. Lots of them. Eye rolls. Warnings. Armchair diagnoses. A collective sense of “Here we go again.”

But beneath the commentary is a deeper question many of us quietly hold especially in today’s modern dating landscape.

Is it actually possible to know you’re in love that quickly—or are those first few months just a chemical illusion?

What’s Actually Happening In Your Brain During First 3 Months of Dating

There’s no universal rule that says feeling in love within the first three months is wrong or doomed for heartbreak. But there is science behind why early relationships feel so intense, and why those in love feelings may not be an accurate predictor of the relationship’s long term compatibility. 

In the beginning, your brain is flooded with dopamine, the chemical that fuels desire, motivation, and pursuit. Serotonin levels drop, which can make you think about the other person constantly. At the same time, the parts of your brain responsible for critical evaluation tend to soften.

This is why early romance often feels magical—and why red flags are easier to overlook.

But “in love” feelings, doesn’t mean you are both capable, compatible or a fit for a long-term relationship. That can only be revealed through time.

Love High vs. Relationship Reality

The early stage of dating is a “love high,” not the final form of the relationship. As the chemical intensity naturally stabilizes, what’s left is the things that actually keep a relationship together. The glue. Time reveals whether someone still shows up with consistency, care, and emotional availability—without the chemical rocket fuel.

That’s when you begin to see communication patterns, conflict skills, follow-through, and values in action—essentials for building healthy relationships.

Why We’ve Grown So Jaded About Public Love

The collective skepticism of couples like Danielle Walter tells us a bigger story about what’s happening in our culture. 

We’ve watched countless relationships play out publicly, only to unravel just as quickly. Research even suggests that couples who post frequently about their relationship are less satisfied than those who keep it mostly offline.

Add to that a broader erosion of trust as a society—and it makes sense that many people now see new love stories presented on social media with doubt instead of hope.

There’s also projection. When our own love story didn’t turn out the way we hoped, watching someone else fall madly in love can make us feel bad about ourselves. What looks like criticism is often our own disappointments and pain being reflected in our cynicism. 

When Is the Right Time to Make It Official?

In my new dating book UNSINGLE, I introduce the Dating Funnel—a framework that helps people move toward commitment without skipping the evaluation stage. This is where you assess whether a relationship has the foundations to last: chemistry, timing, compatibility, and mutual investment.

Before defining a relationship—or sharing it publicly—it’s worth asking: Have you navigated conflict? Seen each other under stress? Talked about money, future plans, and values? Do their actions consistently match their words?

There’s no fast track here. Knowing someone’s character, and how well you fit together as a team, requires experiences together over time.

As for going public: the relationship should feel clear and secure between the two of you before it’s shaped by outside opinions.

A Final Thought

It’s okay to be skeptical about someone’s love story online. But it’s not okay to be cruel.

When someone else’s love life triggers a strong reaction within yourself, it’s worth asking why. What does it stir up—envy, grief, fear?

Whether a viral romance lasts or not, the real story isn’t about them. It’s about how we relate to love, uncertainty, and vulnerability—and whether we still believe it’s possible to build something steady, grounded, and real.